So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
