Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
