I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
