I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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