Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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