i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
