Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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