Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
