i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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