Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
