its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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