And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
