So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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