What a fucking waste of an outfit
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
