I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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