ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
