so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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