I got chris browned last night
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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