How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
