Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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