I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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