So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
