Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
