Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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