Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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