This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
