I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
