I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
