I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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