And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
