i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
