What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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