Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
