nut hugger
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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