Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
