I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
