my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
