he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
