Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
