What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
