paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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