You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
