Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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