I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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