I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
