Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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