If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
