I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize