i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
