Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
