its not stalking. its research.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
