just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
