Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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