You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
