Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
