Are we in a gay sports bar?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
