wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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