I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
