last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
