I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
