Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
